I remember, as a kid/teenager, hearing adults say on multiple occasions that they hated their twenties. And they would go on to say their thirties and forties have or had been the best years of their lives. I always scoffed at this; how are your twenties not grand? I imagined a life where possibility knew no bounds, where you still have your youth but live for the first time truly as an adult.
The "quarter life crisis" is something that I have seen get a lot of recognition recently. And while it kind of makes me roll my eyes, I get it. Possibility may know no bounds but your finances do. If you're like me you might feel stuck doing something you don't love out of necessity. Money doesn't define happiness but I feel stuck in a daily grind lifestyle where I don't get to do the things I love like travel, shop, ride horses, etc. because I cannot afford to. Any extra cash goes into that "6 month income" backup fund. And really, how many of us have 6 months of their income in savings? As soon as I make a dent toward that direction I have to spend some of it on, well, unforeseen expenses.
I don't want, and I'm not trying, to dwell on the have nots. I do have a job that allows me to afford a home and my car and other basic needs. But I still want to feel the hope, freedom and youth of being in my twenties and I feel like I've been losing that. I want to settle down but I don't want to settle. I want to travel but I want to save. I want a stable job but I want to do something I'm passionate about (enter this blog, which I created as an outlet for myself to escape monotony and delve more into my wants, if you will).
So are our twenties just another awkward phase? Do adult youth and hardship go hand in hand? Does it get better when you get married or have money or are you still perpetually looking for more? I have been engaged but didn't go through with it because of that restless feeling in me to keep going, keep searching. Which I am doing, and through the struggles I know I've become more independent and stronger than I'd imagined I could be. I hope if you feel any of these feelings you also keep exploring and eventually find some peace.